I know probably I shouldnt even start this. Probably would never end. There's so much on my mind. People can't choose their family, people suffer way worst than you. I get it. I really do. But it's so tiring over the years it wears me out. I no lobger have the ability to be pretentious and ignorance to all this.
It's not my call. It never was.
To you, I'm not worth at all. I never was. I can never be like her, I can't be as hardworking. As thrifty as her. I know all these while, both of you fight for her. That look you've got when you told me you probably stuck with me and not sis. That disappointment you've got there. I've remain silence all these while. I choose not to, I have no say don't you realize.
It's not easy being me too.
Maybe it's even too much to ask for a normal family.
Even happiness, seen too mug to ask for.
What more can I say.

I've had enough. All these years, I've broke down too often. Now it should end.